Thursday, September 22, 2011

What Men Say About THEIR Fear Of Being Hurt | Commitment ...

Since I posted my article Is He Afraid Of Being Hurt? I have received some interesting responses from men.

One response specifically asked for my subscribers? opinions.

It was from a man who shared his experience closely related to the topic discussed.

In this case, he is the one who is afraid of being hurt in a relationship with his girlfriend, and he wanted to share his story with my subscribers and get women?s opinions on what?s going on in this relationship.

Perhaps you are in a situation with a man who is afraid of being hurt. Or maybe you were on the receiving end of a situation such as his.

He would like to hear your thoughts on his situation.

We, women aren?t the only ones who are confused by the behavior of our partners.

Men, similarly to us, are often puzzled and want to know the reasons for their partner?s behavior.

Here is an email from this man who wished to remain anonymous, so for the purpose of this article we?ll call him Ken (not his real name).

He writes:

?Hi Elaine,

I stumbled across your blog looking for answers to my confusing situation with the woman I have been seeing for a couple of months.

When we first met she had just broken up with her ex boyfriend.

Her ex is a total loser who at the age of thirty doesn?t have a job and has been living with his parents ever since she kicked him out of her house.

She swore that she was done with this guy.

For two months our relationship was great. We were getting very close and I thought we were headed toward something serious.

I am at the point in my life where I am looking for my future wife. I am 40, I have two children who visit with me on weekends, have a stable job in the construction field and I am taking night classes at the local community college.

I have played the field long enough and am ready for a real relationship leading to marriage.

I really thought she was The One.

We had great connection and intimate conversations. We did all kinds of things together. We went to parties at her friends and at the country club where she owns a house.

I even started playing golf and tennis with her which was something I have never done before.

I even introduced her to my children (she doesn?t have her own children).

She is a beautiful woman and very successful in her professional career. But that wasn?t why I was with her.

What I liked about her was that she was very humble about the material things and her education and financial success. She also didn?t care about the fact that I am living in a studio apartment, drive an old truck and am taking night classes at the local community college to get my GED.

Despite our differences we were getting very close and got serious quickly.

After two months of dating she suddenly did a complete turn-around and announced that she was going to give her ex boyfriend a second chance.

After what she had told me about him I thought there was no way she would get back together with this loser.

According to her he treated her like crap and with complete disrespect.

I was very hurt and wanted an explanation. She said they had a history together and she couldn?t just throw it away.

After that, we were still talking, and she told me how her ex was acting after they got back together. To me it sounded like he was still treating her with disrespect.

But she was back with him, and I didn?t want to be a second fiddle. After a painful struggle I stopped calling her as my friends had suggested.

A week later she called me and said she was confused about what she wanted and wasn?t sure who she wanted to be with. She said she liked me and still wanted to date me and get to know me slowly (that was after we had an intense sexual relationship for two months! And suddenly she wants to take it slow?)

She said that perhaps there is someone out there for all of us (meaning that there was someone else out there for her, for me, and for her ex).

I don?t know what to do at this point.

I have very strong feelings for this woman and hope that we can work things out. But at the same time she is still seeing her ex and is not ready to break it off.

I hope that she will see that I am The One for her. My question is ? Should I stick around hoping that she will chose me over her ex eventually?

I don?t want to get hurt again if she eventually chooses her ex over me.

I told her to figure out things with her ex and come back to me when she is ready to end it with him. I don?t want to share the woman I have feelings for with someone else.

I have deleted her phone number so I won?t be tempted to call her. My friends say that if I give her space she will realize what she?s lost and come back to me.

I think it may be a good suggestion, but at the same time I am afraid that if I stop contacting her she will think I?ve lost interest and never come back to me.

Women are so confusing and are impossible to understand.

I would really like to know what goes on in a woman?s head when she does something like this.

I appreciate your response and hearing from other women!

Basically, my question is, if you are a woman who does something like this, why do you do this and what is going through your head when you do this?

And also, I?d like to know what is the best course of action to take to get her back?

Thanks a lot for reading and your advice!

Ken?

I have responded to Ken in a private message which I will share on this blog in my next article, but now I would like to hear from other women reading this blog!

What do you think about this situation? Please do share by leaving a comment in the comment section down below!

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